Last week on my father’s eighty- third birthday, I told him I planned on interviewing him. That was a gift he really appreciated, even more so than the food basket my mother and I left on his doorstep. My father has often asked me to ask him questions, stressing that he has so much he could tell me and that he’s not going to live forever. I originally planned on interviewing him in his home but since COVID restrictions have made that inadvisable, we have to do it by phone. No one was truly prepared for this COVID pandemic, but my father was more prepared than most. In fact, he predicted it back in October.

I’m not the first person to interview my father and I won’t be the last. He was interviewed in October by a Romanian TV station about his research in virology. He was asked about the possibility of a pandemic and he replied that it was inevitable. That comment proved so prophetic, that he’s now been scheduled for another interview. He’s eager for me to watch the first interview but unfortunately, it’s done in Romanian and unlike my father who speaks several languages, I only speak English. I do know the interview began with the interviewer referring to my father as a savant and my father modestly brushing it off.

Our interview starts off with a fight. Since I’ve known my father my whole life, I figure I can be pretty laid back with this interview and make up the questions as we go along but my father tells me he’s angry that I haven’t prepared a formalized list of questions beforehand. My father’s unpredictable and explosive temper is something I’m all too familiar with. His flashes of anger exist alongside his kind and generous spirit. I find it difficult to explain a man like my father to people who haven’t met him. “He sounds like a character” my therapist said. I’ve referred to him as having a Dr, Jekyll/Mr. Hyde personality. We get disconnected in the beginning of our interview and I figure it’s best to wait later, until Dr. Jekyll comes out.

I’ve always been acutely aware of my father’s flaws, but I’ve also always been aware that my father is an amazing human being. I know that his flaws, like his temper and his refusal to throw out expired food likely have their roots in his tumultuous childhood.

When he calls back a few hours later to resume the interview, he’s in a better mood and eager to tell his life story. He begins by telling me about his own father, Vasille, who was a true renaissance man. He had degrees in law, theology and literature. He was a lawyer, minster, topographer, mayor and senate member.

My father was born in Slobozia, Romania on March 15th, 1937. However, his birth certificate says he was born on March 18th and that’s when we’ve always celebrated his birthday. His father knew that the war was coming and that the cutoff deadline for the draft was March 15th. He figured if my father was eighteen rather than seventeen when he was drafted, he would be more mature and prepared for the war.

He was named Constantin, but he’s always gone by his middle name, Mircea. Although everyone in the United States pronounces his name Mur-SEE-uh on the first try, it’s actually pronounced MEER-chuh.

For most of my father’s early childhood, his family lived in wealth and comfort. Then when he was six or seven years old, he started to hear his parents talk in concerned tones. One day his father pointed to a map of the world and drew lines showing the red army was advancing toward Romania. Then the communists came and arrested his father. I ask my father if he remembers the day his father was arrested. He says he doesn’t, but he remembers the day his father was released from jail six months later. He knocked on his door and my father couldn’t believe how skinny he’d become.

His father tried to keep the family afloat, but the communists imposed such heavy taxes that it became impossible. They knew the situation was really untenable the day my father was beaten by a young communist soldier, as were his two younger brothers. The communists forbade members of the upper class from going to school so in order to continue their education, my father and his brothers were adopted out to poorer families. After high school my father applied to medical school and was initially rejected because of his father’s background but was accepted the second time he applied.

Meanwhile my grandfather had fled to a different part of the country and began a career as a topographer. He and my grandmother had gotten divorced. My grandmother was evicted from her home by the communists and found refuge in a cousin’s garage. I learn that the garage has since been converted into the house I stay at with my father when I visit Romania. My father spent his years in medical school living in the garage with my grandmother, making sure she only went out at night, in order to escape the notice of the communists.

My father successfully completed medical school but the communists forbade him from doing clinical practice so he went on to get a Ph.D in virology. He became a renowned researcher, traveling to Germany and Israel for research positions. He married a doctor named Ileana, who gave birth to my sister Ilinca. When my father was offered a professor position at the University of Illinois, Ileana said there was no way she was going to America, which had a bad reputation in Europe. The communists were reluctant to let my father leave the country and my father realized that his only way out was to join the communist party, which he did. He was thrown out eight weeks later and threatened with prison. By this time my father had arrived in America and found it to be much nicer than expected. At the University of Illinois, he met my mother, a graduate student who he eventually married. My father forged a path of success in the United States, founding a biotech company in New Jersey. He faced some obstacles to U.S. citizenship but eventually obtained it when I was five years old. I remember his citizenship party in our dining room decked out in red, white and blue streamers.

In third grade I went on a field trip to Ellis Island. I traced the names of my father and sister (my sister joined my father in the U.S. when she was a teenager) on the wall of immigrants and was proud to have such close relatives on the wall, while my peers only had distant ancestors. Although my father came to the United States through Newark Airport rather than Ellis Island, his story is no less interesting.

The interview goes on for hours and I listen raptly. I interrupt periodically to ask clarification for details. My father has been to so many places that it’s hard to keep track of them all and I keep asking why the communists kept terrorizing him and his family but their reasons seem to defy logic; they terrorized him because they could and for the crime of existing.

Ironically the communists touted him as an example of communism’s success. Obviously, my father was successful in spite of communism. At every turn the communists tried to bring him down and at every turn my father resisted through his hard work, dedication and resilience.

Our interview is also interrupted by calls from other people. One is a woman named Carmen. When my father gets back on the phone with me he says “It’s amazing how popular I am with the ladies at this age.” The other is his business partner, Tony, because at eighty- three my father is still working on a biotech company he founded a few years ago. It was around the same time he was named an honorary citizen of Slobozia.

As I listen to my father’s story, I’m filled with the warring feelings of pride and shame. Pride that my father has accomplished and overcome so much and shame that I haven’t accomplished as much and wouldn’t have been able to persevere in his circumstances.

Now we’re all in trying circumstances that remind us of our vulnerability. My father’s age makes him especially vulnerable to COVID and as we hang up the phone, I can’t help but be reminded of his admonition that he’s not going to live forever. I hope his story and legacy will.

One thought on “A Portrait of my Father

  1. Wow! Thank you for sharing your father’s story with us. My mother’s birthday is March 18.

    It’s nice to see your post in my Reader! I hope you and your Mama are doing well!🌻


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