Top Ten Signs I’m a Very Stable Genius

1. I let the bathtub overflow….while I was in it.
2. I failed an online quiz twice…and it was the same questions both times.
3. After cleaning the litter box I placed the kitty litter scoop over a pile of clean laundry.
4. I tried to remove waffles from the toaster with a fork.
5. I was wondering why the camera on my phone wasn’t working and all I saw was a blue screen when I went to take a picture. Turns out I had my phone’s blue carrying case folded over the lens.
6. I walked up to my mom in the bookstore, shoved my phone in her face and said “Hey, look at this picture on Facebook”…turns out that wasn’t my mom.
7. I can’t figure out how to set up Jenga….or Connect Four. An intellectually impaired person did it for me.
8. The first time I entered my house I banged my head on a light fixture in the living room…twice.
9. I can’t tell you how many computer cords I’ve broken, ID cards I’ve lost and passwords I’ve forgotten.
10. I complain abut how I’m always tired and have such bad sleep problems…and yet I was up until three last night reading a personal essay about an emergency appendectomy in Egypt that mysteriously still left the author with her appendix.