Adventures in Password Recovery

*Attempts to log in to e-mail*

Sorry, that password is incorrect. Have you forgotten your password?

*Clicks on ‘forgot password’*

What was your last password?

“If I knew that why would I have said I forgot my password?”

On what date did you set up this e-mail?

“I don’t remember.”

Answer the following verification question: Cthlu fgggyey tusyyi

“WTF?”

Provide the phone number associated with this e-mail so we can send you a verification code

“I registered this e-mail under a different phone number than the one I have now.”

Provide an alternate e-mail that we can send a verification code to

*Checks alternate e-mail*

Dear Google User, 

This e-mail address is being used to recover a Google account. If you initiated the recovery process, it is asking you to enter the verification code that appears below.

“Huh? What’s ‘it’? Where am I supposed to enter this verification code?”

*Tries entering verification code in to password field*

Sorry, that password is incorrect. Have you forgotten your password?

*Calls help desk*

Hello, how may I help you?”

“I’ve lost my password and I can’t recover it.”

Please give me your name

*Gives name*

Please give me your school ID number

*Gives ID number*

I’m sorry, that number doesn’t match up with the number we have in our system.

“It’s the number I was given the other day.”

Hmm…

“Is there any other way I can access my e-mail?’

Please give me your birth date

*Gives birth date*

Okay, your password has been reset to ********. Try it and see if it works.

*Enters password, holds breath…lets out sigh of relief*

“It works..thanks for your help.”

*Looks at e-mail, sees link to textbook that needs to be ordered*

*Goes to order textbook*

Please enter your password

*Enters password*

Sorry, that password is incorrect. Have you forgotten your password?

*Head explodes*