Someone in my real life got angry about something I wrote in this blog. I changed the name I used in that blog post but I have a feeling that’s not going to be good enough for him. What can I do? I feel very strongly about being open and honest in this blog and not censoring myself. I feel very strongly that I do not need anyone’s permission or approval to write about them.

This blog is meant to be about my own personal experiences but no (wo)man is an island. My life is affected by the people in it and I can’t tell my own story without telling some of their story as well. I think one should be considerate of other peoples’ feelings and safety. I wouldn’t want to post anything that would cause someone intense distress or put them in danger. But you know what? I’ve had experiences in life that have caused me distress, that have jeopardized my physical and emotional safety. Some of those experiences occurred as a result of the people who object to my blog.

It is therapeutic to me to write about those experiences. I know I could just make my writing private but sharing my writing with others is a big part of what makes it so therapeutic. The things I went through were hard and took a toll on me emotionally but they were made infinitely harder by the shame I felt over them. I was so ashamed of the things I’d done, the things I’d been through, that I wouldn’t tell anybody about them. I was so ashamed of myself that I wouldn’t even talk to or associate with people, I cut myself off from my friends. Shame has been such a destructive force in my life and it feels really good to now be so unashamed that I’m willing to share some of my deepest darkest secrets on the internet for the whole world to see.

It’s not just about me either. I hope that in sharing my experiences I am helping other people.  I hope I am letting other people who have struggled with similar issues know that they are not alone, that they do not need to be ashamed, that they do not need to be afraid to share their own experiences.

Writing has given me a sense of purpose in a life that was lacking purpose. It’s become a hobby of mine and I’d like to turn it in to a career. Writing is an art. If you’re always worried about hurting someone’s feelings and offending them through your writing, your writing will suffer for it. I went to a book talk a few months ago in which someone in the audience expressed that fear and the author giving the talk ripped in to her for it.

Situations like this make me wish I was better at writing fiction but even fiction tends to be based on real life experiences.

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7 thoughts on “I knew this was going to happen

  1. Hi Kira. I feel for you. I feel similar about my blog. It has improved my life in a good way, and especially helps me since the loss of my beloved pet. I do also participate in online bipolar support groups, but there I can’t write freely about the various things I write about here.

    I’ll admit that I don’t use WordPress as a journal, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t written about things that are very important or affecting to me.

    I very much like hearing from people here at WP. Not just people with bipolar disorder, but others, too. Sometimes I even like to write about non-mental health topics. That is something I can’t do on my online bipolar group.

    I made the choice to cut the link between my WP blog and my Facebook. That my my choice, and I’m personally glad I did it. My sister, dad, husband, nephews and sister-in-law know my blog, but I don’t want my cousins, aunts, etc. knowing everything I write. Perhaps if you do link it to Facebook you could go to Facebook and just delete the blog posting of certain posts. Just an idea.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Kira-
    You need to remember that you have the right to post things (albeit being careful about names). If someone recognizes themselves and gets angry then it’s nothing to do with you. Some people just want to make a fuss about stupid stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Shame is a huge obstacle. I wasn’t able to work on my mental health issues until I let go of the shame I had. I agree that as long as you’re doing your best to protect the anonymity of others then you should write whatever you want to.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree so much with this like everything you said. Writing helps me process things and a lot of those things can be unpleasant and involve others. My relatives have gotten mad about me posting stuff about them on my blog, too. I just ignore them. And occasionally write a blog post rebuttal. It’s worked with some family members. Others have gotten even madder. Just be yourself and do what you love. Unless it’s your significant other or someone you interact with daily, I would try to ignore it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Kira,
    This is what I would do…
    It depends on what does the relationship with the person mean to you…
    If it’s valuable, you might want to think about considering adjustments keeping in mind the person’s comfort zone.
    If it doesn’t matter, well, you still might want to consider your own comfort zone, the worth of an eventual argument.
    I agree with you that sincerity and openness are important, but I’ve learned that matters one wishes to make public, should be changed/adapted in order to become non-identifiable, and it’s not always easy, but rather really complicated, because besides a few strict, general rules, the rest is really on a case-by-case basis…

    Liked by 1 person

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