The next day we checked out of our hotel, said goodbye to my brother and prepared for our journey to Fort Lauderdale. My father asked the concierge about the route to Fort Lauderdale that would take us through the small rural Florida towns. The concierge replied that no one had ever asked him about taking that route and that it was significantly longer than the other route but my father really wanted to show Gabrielle “Trump Country.”
I told my father that I didn’t want to spend an extra two hours in the car just so he could mock poor people and that furthermore he had no idea how anyone in those counties voted, he was just making assumptions based on stereotypes. Yet my father insisted that he was not mocking poor people and damn it this was his vacation too so he deserved to see Trump country!
Since we knew this was going to a be a long car ride we stocked up on food from the drug store, mostly consisting of nutritious snacks such as donuts, Oreos and Pringles. I slept for the first hour or two of the car ride and I woke up with cramps in my butt cheeks so I asked if we could stop somewhere and stretch our legs. At a gas station my father asked an attendant to recommend an interesting place for us to stop and he recommended a town called Lake Placid.
This was not the Lake Placid on which that horror movie was based. It was a small, rustic town covered in colorful, interesting murals. It also has a real, live, clown school. Even though I’m scared of clowns, I enjoyed seeing the clown school as well as the murals and I took lots of pictures. An hour or two later we made a stop at a nature park at which I got to see a live raccoon in broad daylight and an hour or two after that we arrived at our hotel. We spent some time at the beach and then returned to the hotel room to watch the Oscars, which I found rather boring until that clusterfuck at the end.
In the morning we went on a boat tour on which we were shown the waterfront properties of the rich and famous. I try not to feel jealous of the wealth and privilege of others because I know I come from wealth and privilege myself but when I saw those mansions I couldn’t help but feel jealous. On that boat ride I also saw my first wild iguana. I hadn’t even known there were wild iguanas in Florida. Apparently they are descended from pets that were released.
Our family friends Carl and Elaine have a condo near Fort Lauderdale and had expressed interest in getting together with us when we were there so I called them and made plans for that night. My father told Gabrielle that he had known Carl and Elaine for ten years. I had to laugh at that because I’ve known Carl and Elaine my whole life and my father knew them before I was born. I have noticed a tendency in people once they reach a certain age to think that anything that happened a long time ago happened about ten years ago, never any longer ago than that.
We met Carl and Elaine as well as their adorable dog Zoe at their condo at around 7. When we told them we were going to Miami and Key West they told us they didn’t like either of those places- Key West was tacky and full of loud, drunk, obnoxious people and it was unsafe to walk the streets of Miami at night, as there was a good chance you would get mugged. I saw Gabrielle’s eyes grow wide with alarm. I just hoped we would enjoy Miami and Key West more than Carl and Elaine did. I didn’t think my father and Gabrielle could possibly dislike those places as much as they disliked Disney World.
Once it became clear to Carl and Elaine that we had not eaten dinner and were hungry we headed over to a diner where we reminisced and had a lively conversation. There was much laughter as well as a few tears. When we were done eating we had a waiter take a picture of the five of us. I captioned it “Here’s to 10 years of friendship-or 35!” Elaine said “35 years feels like 10 years when you’re having fun-and we did.”