My dog Lily bit someone the other day. When a man came to install a new dishwasher she barked her head off at him like she always does at strangers who enter the house, especially if they’re carrying tools in their hands. The man was assured that she was all bark and no bite because up until then she had been.

When the guy was leaving the house she ran up behind him and bit him on the leg. She tore his pants and drew blood. The man was very sweet and understanding about the incident and he says he’s not going to report it but it’s still pretty scary. When I told people about what she did the reactions ranged from “Lol!” to “Are you going to put her down?”

As of now there are no plans to put Lily down but given my history of losing dogs under tragic circumstances, I can’t help but fear that it’s going to come to that. My first two dogs were both killed by cars, my next dog died of cancer and my last dog suffocated on a chip bag. The universe seems to enjoy torturing me by snatching my dogs away from me in shocking and devastating ways, so why not have my next dog have to be euthanized for biting?

I’m trying not to be all doom and gloom about this though. Lily seemed genuinely devastated by the disapproval she got from us as a result of her crime and although our dog trainer usually doesn’t work with dogs who have bitten, she’s agreed to work with Lily. She said the first step in reforming her is to stop finding her stubbornness and sassy attitude cute or endearing. Bossypaws needs to be put in her place.

So now we’ve established that the dog bit. While the bee didn’t sting, I did recently have an encounter with a bee. I heard an angry buzzing sound coming from my ceiling. When I looked up in to my air vent I saw a bee sticking its feelers out. I left the room and when I came back I could still hear angry buzzing but it was no longer coming from the vent. I couldn’t find the bee though.

I know bees tend to live in colonies so I had this terrifying vision of a swarm of bees coming down the vent and stinging me all over. An exterminator visit was arranged and my mom said that when the exterminator showed up I should lie and say I’d seen more than one bee so I’d be taken more seriously. I have a hard time lying about anything but I figured I could manage a little white lie about bees. Yet when the time came I found myself unable to do it. I admitted that I had only seen one bee.

This one bee could not be found and a search of the vent revealed no further bees so the exterminator packed up his tools and left. Lily barked her head off at him but luckily she didn’t bite that time. A few hours after the exterminator left I found the bee in my curtains. After it was captured in a cup and determined to be a harmless bumblebee it was released in to the wild.

A few days after my bee encounter I had an ant encounter. This time there really was more than one ant. There were lots of them crawling all over the floors and furniture. This morning I had a spider encounter. Thankfully there was only one spider in my doorway but one spider in my doorway is one spider too many.

In the grand scheme of things pesky insect/arachnid encounters are not that big a deal and I have faith that Lily will be redeemed but I find myself feeling sad a lot about my life in general. If you’re familiar with The Sound of Music, you know that the solution to that is to simply remember my favorite things.

Whiskers on kittens, cream colored ponies and wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings could all be a source of comfort to me because while I’m obviously not a big fan of insects or arachnids, I love all other animals.  Speaking of animals, April the giraffe finally gave birth yesterday and I got to watch it live. At first I was watching a giraffe walking around with legs hanging out of its butt, which was a little weird but the moment when the calf was born in an amniotic gush of glory was beautiful and so satisfying. The moments after birth were adorable. It’s amazing how a baby giraffe is able to accomplish in one hour what it takes a human baby one year to accomplish.

Raindrops on roses are nice too. I love seeing all the beautiful flowers that are blooming now. I mentioned in a previous blog that April’s erratic weather patterns mess with your head but it was really warm today so perhaps our silver white winter has melted in to spring. While I haven’t had any crisp apple strudel or schnitzel with noodles lately, I’ve had plenty of other delicious dishes, all of which I’m sure I’d misspell.

While today was not a holiday that brought sleigh bells or brown paper packages tied up in string, it was a holiday that brought bunnies and eggs of all colors tied up in Easter grass. While we arrived at my sister’s house so late that the Easter festivities were over by the time we got there, I still had a good time. After my dad had been chastened for running so late, I got to see him properly chastened for ruining my Disney World trip by hating Disney World. Then I got to see the family dog going down a slide and I caught it on video. What more could I ask for?

Happy Easter!

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One thought on “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad…

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